I went to see my obgyn today and towards the end of my visit she said “You know if you want to get pregnant, today is the best day to have sex?” Now, I know she really didn’t have any ill intent behind, but I’m like, 🗣absolutely NOT! Ever since I turned 30, my freedom has been threatened to start a family of my own.
This year, there has been an extreme emphasis on the fact that I am single with no children. From my boss, clients, both my doctors, strangers in passing and even particular family members being concerned that someone such as myself, at my age could not have found love yet. I’ve heard “Oh, we’re going to have to do something about that.” or “Don’t you want to have children?” or the infamous “I’m going to pray for you!” after I state, there is no man in my life 🙄.
Now, I won’t say that I don’t desire marriage because I believe that love is the most beautiful thing in this world. To have a committed, loyal partnership in this life is a blessing. However, I do not feel negatively about my current relationship and familial status the way that people think I should. I don’t feel the pressure people place upon me and I am not desperate to lock any man that wants to be with me down. I literally live my life as freely as possible no matter if a man is coming or going.
I only want what God wants for me. If God wants me married, then when the universe sees fit that it is my time, I am positive that I will be ready and willing to accept the assignment. I don’t want children unless I am married. These are both standards that have remained constant through every season of my growth. I personally feel that no man is worth bearing the pain of child labor for that did not feel that I was worthy to make his wife first. And if marriage and children are not meant for me in this lifetime, I am perfectly fine with that as well.
In the meantime, creating a life that no one can take from me is the best focus I can have as I continue to develop myself as a better overall human being in society. Whatever is meant to be will be and whatever isn’t won’t happen. It’s that simple! As long as I never lose myself again or compromise my standards for a relationship as a desperate attempt to fit other’s perceptions of what a woman should have or should be, I am fine.