2017 Year in Reflection

This year has felt like a lifetime. Everything accelerated within a twelve month span. But had it not been for the tools that the previous years equipped me with, I wouldn’t still be standing confidently today. If I had to think of the biggest lesson I learned, it would be: 2017 taught me to stand in my power. I learned the truest meaning of independence and self confidence.

Thankfully, 2015 taught me to be fearless. With that characteristic, when a new opportunity presented itself to me in January of this year, that was something I’d never done before, regardless of whatever, I found the courage within myself to push through. Being forced completely out of my comfort zone with the new opportunity helped me to realize that I am someone I never knew I was. My self confidence is now on another level. Definitely a breakthrough in knowing that on the other side of fear is self discovery.

2016 taught me to be proactive. This became a benefit to me in August of this year when I felt as if my life was in shambles. There’s always an angle that I have thought of so just in case, I can cope and persevere through effortlessly. Everything that could go wrong DID go wrong in August, but it taught me the art of letting go. Whatever the universe was doing, I wasn’t fighting it this time. Let the chips fall where they may but I will always be alright.

As proven, in fact, I was alright. By November, life had turned completely back around and having the right attitude was beginning to pay off. Here it is December, and my opportunities are constantly flowing in. My heart is grateful because the truest lesson of opposition has taught me that I’m unbreakable. I have overcome so much in the last 8 years that the problems I face now, I handle effortlessly.

That love that I used to gloat about all 2016 and halfway through this year? Well, it went stale! Nothing bad happened. We’re still cool and he’ll always be a love that changed me forever. But I definitely learned a new lesson with love: there’s no such thing as right person, wrong time. If the timing is wrong, so is the person and you can’t live your life on pause for the timing to align. Two years of that bliss feeling but just because it didn’t turn out the way I thought it would doesn’t mean it didn’t serve it’s purpose. Ultimately, I think the lesson of meeting him was to show me at a time where I thought I’d never be able to move on to anyone after my previous love, is that my heart could still feel “bigly” for someone else. He’s still one of my favorite people to have known, and although our friendship might be distant, the memories are forever. No matter how your heart feels, make sure your mind is never clouded by it. I was so quick to label this relationship as a “life partner” or a “soulmate” when the timing of life just proved that it was a “karmic relationship”. The lesson from that is, you still don’t know the purpose of someone’s existence in your life and you can’t really define it until you have had a quality amount of involvement to look back upon.

Currently, my focus is on nurturing my career. So much to look forward to. I accidentally fell into my purpose at the end of 2016 while I was working a career that has been in my blood and I am so good at. Here I am now, juggling two careers, two different lanes and yet thriving in both. My income is now tied to purpose and passion and it’s honestly the greatest feeling.

Astrology keeps hinting at this time of my life being golden for partnership and marriage. I want to believe it but I’ve gotten way too excited too soon recently. If marriage & kids are for me, then I’ll gladly accept that role when the time seems fit. But where I am internally, even if the universe doesn’t see that, that life is for me, I am also at peace with it. I’m not desperate, rushing a biological clock or timeline because what I won’t do, is settle for bad decisions. I have learned to release control of what things “should” be and accept life for what it is. I’m not going to stop living my best life no matter what cards are dealt to me. This is my happy currently and it’s peaceful while I’m playing my hand to its fullest extent!

In retrospect I learned that I am a very powerful visionary and my level of determination is legendary. I became a new me in 2015, so as we are hours away from a new year, a better me is awaiting. I’ll still love, still laugh, still give my all, still maintain my peace, still travel, and make sure i’m guided into intelligent decisions, just on a progressive level.

May 2018 be a life evolving year in a positive way for us all ✨

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Birthday Behavior 2.9 💕🎉👑

I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to better.

— Frida Kahlo

This birthday is extremely bitter sweet. It’s the very last of my twenties and all I can think about is “where in the hell did the time go?” I honestly don’t feel my age and definitely don’t look it. I’m in such a great place in life and one of the keys as to why I feel so great about where I am currently, isn’t because I have it all together. I abso-fcking-lutely 🗣 DO NOT! It is because I’ve stopped trying to beat a timeline on what I should have accomplished at a certain point in my life and just letting shit be what it is. I am progressively working towards my passions and desires while accepting and loving the place that I am in while on the journey. My life is nowhere near what I thought it would be when I was ten years younger. Hell, even five years younger. But where I am now, I wouldn’t have it no other way. I actually think it’s semi better than what I had wanted for myself because a lot of what I thought I wanted, I actually don’t want anymore. I’ve changed my mind on a lot. And while on this journey through my twenties, I’ve learned so much about myself.

If I could start all over, there are certainly so many things and people in my life that I would have changed. I’ve spent way too much time being hard on myself, getting in my own way and keeping the wrong people near me. I’m no longer afraid of change, losing people or the unknown of my next position in life. In fact, I woke up today with an urgency to start all over. I want to throw everything away and start completely over from scratch. My definition of Spring cleaning. What I’ve learned is that I have this power to manifest whatever it is that I want, so if I find myself in a particular situation I have the power to change it around. Being aware not only of energy but of myself has become a superpower. I’ve just been living life on a real carefree vibe. No matter what I am doing, I enjoy doing it. I wake up every day happy, regardless of what obstacles I go through and when I feel my spirit shifting to a lower vibration, I know how to correct it and get it back in alignment. I’ve spent way too much time to myself in this last year. It’s almost frightening at how much I enjoy being alone. Yet, in the process of enjoying my own company way more than others, I can say that I know me better than I ever thought I could. I am everything that I never knew I was. It’s amazing! Life is so peaceful and joyous right now. I’ve become so fearless this last year of my life. So many things have shaken up and I am so ballsy because of it, not afraid of anything. And if it does frighten me, that gives me the biggest courage to do it anyway because I know that I will never grow as long as I am complacent. I know that right on the other side of my fear is opportunity and if it goes bad, then guess what, I will have walked away learning a tremendous lesson. Which I can add to my book of wisdom.

What I wish for in my twenty-ninth year is to live more in the moment. Embrace what is happening in the present fully; To stop being so nonchalant and actually open my heart to others; Lastly, value the people around me more by not always being so distant (& reaching out to them first smh).