I was watching the most recent episode of Married To Medicine (a television show on BRAVO) and Mariah finally revealed why she constantly called her frenemy, Quad, a fraud. I just never understood why and now it all makes sense.
You see, Mariah is the kind of person who, when you fall out with, if they’ve done anything for you in life, they want to constantly remind you of that. People do this because they feel it is their duty to “humble you” but in reality, how genuine was that help when you constantly throw it into someone’s face once they’ve grown past those moments?
Quad has grown in life and is no longer in a struggling position. Does that mean she’s forgotten where she comes from because she doesn’t live in her past or constantly have to talk about it with others and remind people of it? Why is she a fraud for living on the level that she’s elevated to in life? Why does she have to constantly thank Mariah for her help in the past or share that with everyone she knows? Because Mariah wants the constant glory of “look what I did for her”. Who’s really the person that needs a self check in this situation? Mariah only wants the glory of it and to constantly try to embarrass her of her past because they all are no longer friends.
Black women do this to each other way too often and I hate it. Honestly, this is why they say keep your enemies closer because people are only loyal to themselves if you are no longer in agreement with them. The minute the dynamics of a friendship or relationship change, people get to running off at the mouth. Real loyalty is the ability to hold it down regardless of where you are in life with someone else.
People aren’t fraudulent for not continuously living in what they’ve grown from. She’s not faking her current life. Maybe Mariah needs to reflect on why it matters to her so much? I don’t care how you’ve known someone in the past, if that isn’t them today, they are not a fraudulent for not acting like it. It’s called GROWTH. People change, yearly, monthly, weekly, hell, even daily. Stop holding people to how you used to view them. Especially if you’re doing it to make yourself look better.
“Know that you can start late, look different, be uncertain and still succeed.” — Misty Copeland
“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and the awful its ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing; hold on through the awful; and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul healing, amazing, ordinary, awful life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”
— LR Knost
2016 was a rough year for most. In numerology, 2016 equates to the number nine, which means completion. Lots of lessons were to be learned through endings. Things ended that was holding us back from our fullest potential. Which for some people, it was difficult for them to face. However, others such as myself, have been through enough in life where no matter what difficulties arose, we were able to push through each obstacle and face each lesson head on.
2016 wasn’t bad to me. Aside from the fact that we lost one of the greatest entertainers to ever live, Prince 💜☔️, this was still ultimately one of the best years. I transformed into a woman that I dreamt of being. This was my year of solitude. I got to truly know me in ways that I had never known because for once I had no distractions. I started the year off having fun and dating this one particular person I met in November of last year. He started to feel more for me than I did for him and was trying to force me into a committed relationship, despite me telling him my flaws and that I’m not looking for anything too serious. I decided to do something that I’ve never done before. I mustard up the courage to have a conversation and be honest about how I felt instead of fleeting and disappearing on him. He respected me for it and I was shown a glimpse of the changes that were occurring within me. I didn’t want to be selfish because he is such a great guy. He deserves someone that could give to him what I would do a disservice of, regardless of how perfect for him he thought I was. I’ve seen karma play out in my life too many times and I’d rather not play with that fire again when it comes to people and their emotions. He still thinks there will be hope for us in the future. I’m not totally sure about that but then again, life is hilarious.
I started meditating daily this year and when I tell you it has done wonders for what my spirit has become. I’ve awaken every single day this year in a good mood and I go to bed every night with peace. Keeping my chakras in order is a daily practice that keeps the positivity flowing in my life. I’ve come far too along in life from those dark days to allow my peace to ever get disrupted. I protect it with everything in me now because it is truly a daily fight. When situations and vibes are off, I just disengage now. Also, an exciting thing that’s happened is that I’ve started learning French. It’s so hard but I’m never quitting. I want that villa off the côte d’azur someday, so minimizing the language barrier is my goal.
Despite me letting go of one really good relationship, another relationship was transforming into something bigger than I could have ever imagined. I met him last summer, right at the ending of my last relationship. There was always something different about this guy. He’s the first ever to impress me. Our chemistry is undeniable. I just knew that I would be in love with him someday. Life got in the way which would cause us to be separated for this entire year, but it was great to me. I didn’t have to put all my eggs into one basket after getting out of a long, serious and draining relationship. I got to date around for the end of last year and part of this year. Dating around was fun and I just wanted to be to myself for awhile. Yet, I was constantly fighting off these feelings that were forming for this guy. Our connection was getting deeper and stronger until one day we both couldn’t reject it anymore. I’ve never known love could form this organically and genuinely. How do I know it’s not lust? Well, first off we’ve never been physically intimate other than kissing but we connect on a mental and spiritual/soulful level the deepest. This has never happened in my life. Our bond has grown into something solid and the best part of it all is that it’s a friendship before anything else. We respect one another and are always honest. Do you know what its like to be in somebody’s presence and can just kick it for 7+ hours but it felt like 7 minutes? That’s no exaggeration either. We get so drawn into each other’s company. No time is ever enough, no conversation is ever too much. It’s the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever felt. Most importantly it’s not a codependent situation. But we’ve become attached to each other’s spirit because of how cohesive our personalities are. I’m excited to see what this relationship will blossom into in 2017 because life will no longer have us separated. 💖
My family time was amazing this year. The older I get the more I feel like I can’t live without my family. We took our first family vacation this summer that I’d planned. A cruise to the Bahamas and it was so much fun. I love how appreciative everybody was, so now it has turned into a yearly thing. Every year a big trip for all of us to do together. It’s something that is certainly changing the dynamics our relationships. My friendships this year have been the same. Still solid. I have the best people in my circle so we just continued to share our fun moments whenever we got together per usual and they’ve been super supportive of me this year. I didn’t lose any friends this year, which means I kept the right ones close to me. I’m very grateful!
Speaking of family… In June of this year something so unexpected happened in my life that ended up being a blessing in disguise. An aunt (my mother’s half sister) who is part source of a lot of drama took it upon herself to sneakily get me laid off from my job. For the life of me I couldn’t understand her purpose. We stopped working together two years prior and I had moved on within a month to a better opportunity. Didn’t look back and she was forgotten about in my life. Yet, it killed her to hear about me winning I guess. I was so confused and despite her trying to be a continuous nuisance in my life, I kept my head high and moved forward. This is where the lesson of 2016 comes into play. I was pretty much bored with that job. It wasn’t challenging me. I did it with my eyes closed. It was consistent yet kept me complacent. It had to end because a part of me needed more and I needed to do it for myself and by myself. I moved on to something that I had been considering for months: renewing my license and going back to being a Realtor®️. I originally had a plan of when I was going to make this move (summer 2017) but that’s the trick to life. Things don’t go as we want them to and you have to know how to adapt and accept situations that are happening the way that they are meant to happen. Everything in this situation happened very organically which is how I know it was destined. I was taking a class to renew my license and met a guy; we sparked up a conversation which led me to being introduced to my now mentor (more like my work mother). She had her broker call me and we met. The rest is history. I switched my license to their brokerage and have met so many amazing souls along the way. I’ve had setbacks in my career and way too many expenses and even wanted to give up at one point but I kept pushing through, now I’m at a place where all the learning, trials and errors, and guidance that I received is starting to pay off. I’m just getting started but with how dedicated I’ve been, 2017 is going to take my career to new heights. I can feel it! ✨
Overall, this year was challenging yet flowed so perfectly through every transition and that is how I know that I am exactly where I am meant to be. There’s struggles in life but there isn’t any strife when it comes to destiny. I’m most thankful for being centered and connected with my higher myself. It’s kept me focused and I learned that I enjoy my own company way more than I ever would have imagined. This year was all about my career and self. My traveling slowed down after July which sucked but I still had lots of fun. A year of not getting drunk, not partying, and not having sex sounds boring to most, but for the first time, I feel the most whole. I’ve had to get real with myself, recognize my own self sabotaging behaviors and face all the ugly parts of who I am. I am no longer a victim because I am very self aware and own my truths. More than anything, that’s the best gift I’ve received and I’m hoping to walk into 2017 being better for my close relationships, the strangers I encounter daily but more importantly, for myself.