Fraudulent? Or Elevation?

I was watching the most recent episode of Married To Medicine (a television show on BRAVO) and Mariah finally revealed why she constantly called her frenemy, Quad, a fraud. I just never understood why and now it all makes sense. 

You see, Mariah is the kind of person who, when you fall out with, if they’ve done anything for you in life, they want to constantly remind you of that. People do this because they feel it is their duty to “humble you” but in reality, how genuine was that help when you constantly throw it into someone’s face once they’ve grown past those moments?

Quad has grown in life and is no longer in a struggling position. Does that mean she’s forgotten where she comes from because she doesn’t live in her past or constantly have to talk about it with others and remind people of it? Why is she a fraud for living on the level that she’s elevated to in life? Why does she have to constantly thank Mariah for her help in the past or share that with everyone she knows? Because Mariah wants the constant glory of “look what I did for her”. Who’s really the person that needs a self check in this situation? Mariah only wants the glory of it and to constantly try to embarrass her of her past because they all are no longer friends.

Black women do this to each other way too often and I hate it. Honestly, this is why they say keep your enemies closer because people are only loyal to themselves if you are no longer in agreement with them. The minute the dynamics of a friendship or relationship change, people get to running off at the mouth. Real loyalty is the ability to hold it down regardless of where you are in life with someone else. 

People aren’t fraudulent for not continuously living in what they’ve grown from. She’s not faking her current life. Maybe Mariah needs to reflect on why it matters to her so much? I don’t care how you’ve known someone in the past, if that isn’t them today, they are not a fraudulent for not acting like it. It’s called GROWTH. People change, yearly, monthly, weekly, hell, even daily. Stop holding people to how you used to view them. Especially if you’re doing it to make yourself look better.

— Tanisha 


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