“…lovest thou me more than these?”
– John 21:15
You never really know how tied down you are to something until you get to that point where you are ready to let it go. Being bonded to something that you don’t even know is embedded into your soul is one of the most dangerous predicaments to be in. When particular seasons end, we often have developed such an attachment and bond to them that we unwilling allow them to end. We refuse to have the courage to end them ourselves and the situation only gets worse until there comes a point in your life where you have no other option but to let it go. The point where you feel like you’re in a lose-lose situation because you’re miserable with it and miserable without it. The circumstance has served it’s purpose for the time being, but you hold yourself back from the next level of your destiny by refusing to acknowledge that you need to close that door in order to step through another. You’re blocking your own blessings and holding yourself back from your purpose when you choose to hold on tightly to bonds that were never intended to last forever. Whatever that attachment is that you are thinking of right at this moment, YOU KNOW exactly what I am talking about. You’ve contemplated for days, months, and maybe even years on ending it. Doubt has crossed your mind more often than not. Yet the ideology that you have in your spirit that nothing could ever get better with out it because you are too busy stuck on the temporary pleasures you’ve received from it. You can’t imagine life without this dependency of emotional or sexual soul tie. How many promises or times have you sworn to yourself ‘never again’ but suddenly find yourself trapped right back into bondage? So, how do you break this codependency?
First thing first, it’s always easier said then done. I’ve been in bondage for nine years. A relationship that was wholeheartedly, my crutch. I used to play games and partially remove myself from it and try to keep other aspects of the bond near me. Eventually, I found myself trapped 100% again. I used to pray and beg God to remove the situation from me because I wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own. Ha! Doesn’t work that way either. You see, your faith becomes tested. So, what matters more? The situation that is comfortable out of familiarity or will you be willing to trust Him? Trust that when you take the steps toward leaving behind what once was, that it will one day be replaced with something better. And even if it’s not replaced, there’s a substitution that is directly linked to your destiny. So see, I’m playing this game of tug-of-war with my feelings. Part of me choosing the wrong situation and wanting to stay and the right part of me knowing I need to walk away, knowing there is something better. One week I’m on this side, the next, I’m on the other. I’m finding myself comfortable straddling the fence because it feels like the best of both. WRONG! It becomes a battle of emotions and you feel torn. It started to break me down worse. Because now I know better and it eats at you mentally knowing what you should be doing. I wasn’t trying to make the sacrifice of giving up something that wasn’t for my well-being yet I loved. And, honestly, that’s not the way God operates. God doesn’t get the glory from always saving us. You have to make the choice and give him the opportunity to pull you through in order for you to really feel grateful and worthy of the blessing on the other end. You have to be willing to chose Him over bondage. So, again, it took me to get to a point where I no longer felt like those negative feelings could control my life. I wish there was a tool or a set path to get there, but there isn’t. There will come a day where you will say to yourself, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. It’s a maturity thing that doesn’t come with age. It comes from strength. To deny the flesh and finally choose the correct path, wherein lies the peace.
If you’re currently under bondage, I am praying for your strength to make the decision to get out and if you’ve left your bondage, I am praying for your strength to not backslide in the mess you’ve worked at pulling yourself from out of. Yes, it may break your heart to no longer have the attachment, but what is coming is better than what has gone. I pray in Jesus’s name that you break yourself out of that pain, out of that misery and believe that there is so much more to life. That peace, joy and happiness can and will be yours, if that is what you choose. In Jesus’s name, I pray, Amen!