As my birthday is approaching, there’s a lot to reflect on, from where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. I was a wreck much of my life under twenty-five and although I hid it well, I was ‘saving face’ with the pain and suffering I was enduring. I didn’t share any of it and had no outlet or way to cope, which often times, isn’t healthy. Although, going through much of what I did and breaking down in my alone time every night, has made me unbreakable today, I often wonder how quicker I could have overcome my struggles had I not gone through it by myself.
What I’d tell my twenty-two years young self: “Girl, your emotions are leading you into a pool of chaos. You’re too busy making more mistakes by trying to correct the previous mistakes with a quick fix. Before you can get out of one problem, you’re being smacked with another. You’re practically doing a rodeo dance with satan himself. Your fear is the enemies playground and he can smell it a mile away. Hence, why you haven’t gotten anywhere. You’re too busy trying to get to the destination but the real message is in the journey. There are some things that you want God to do in your life that is your destination, but it is the things that you learn along the way that will be the most beneficial to you. If you receive the destination without the process you won’t be able to hold on to it. And if you get what you shall without you going through what you are going through, you won’t have the fortitude to hold on to what He will release in your life.”
You see, after I built a relationship with God, He brought people and ministries that ministered to my circumstances perfectly. It was then that I knew, I wasn’t in this alone and I didn’t have to be in it alone. Even if those people aren’t in my life today, they were definitely brought into my life for a reason. Once I trusted my skeletons with Him, I got my strength back and I got my life back. Even though troubles will never go away, what I do know is that they don’t last always. Because of my God, it’s so much easier to cope and persevere through life.